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beyond the Kuiper Belt, over the sea

Progress Report

June 21st, 2009 by Kit

From halfway through Dracula: Abraham Van Helsing is the biggest Mary Sue I’ve come across in recent literary memory.  Geez.  “You forget that I am a lawyer as well as a doctor.”  Yes, thank you, I wasn’t certain you were a Mary Sue when you shared a name with the author of the work you’re in, and were the one dude who knew entirely what was going on.

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  • Chris

    Hey now, there’s nothing wrong with Van Helsing, Mary Sue or not!

  • kit

    I mean, he is kinda awesome; moreso because he’s Dutch.

  • puckling

    hehehehehe. Oh Mary Sues.

  • Simone

    But what unusual color is his hair? His eyes? What kind of special powers does he have? How many martial arts styles does he know? Does he have no idea how smart he is, or is he sassy, fun-loving, and quick to retort? Does he scorn all of his suitors because he’s independent, or does he just not know how attractive he Really Is? What’s his quirky flaw that’s actually soooo endearing? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW

  • kit

    Van Helsing Facts:

    His hair burns golden with the light of the sun, representing his enmity towards vampires.

    His eyes are a cool silver, like the moon he stalks them under, and the bullet he slays them with.

    As to special powers, not only is he a lawyer and a doctor, accredited throughout Europe, but he is also a wizard, a half-vampire with no need for blood, and a fallen angel trapped in a human’s body. Also, like The Tick, he has Drama Power.

    He is sardonic, dry, and genre-savvy.

    Oh, also, his biggest superpower, which I forgot: he’s Dutch.